Last modified: Wed Jun 25 01:52:43 2003, see what's new.

The Revised Dissemination Drill

The Dissemination Drill fails on the "handle" part of the cycle. Here are the answers to the most commonly asked questions to aid you in geting your friends in as soon as possible:

Why do they always twist your arm?
A heavy incident of unreasonable hope followed by complete despair transfers charge to the third flow. It goes: "If I can't make it alone, everyone must be involved." So they twist your arm.
Why does it cost so much?
(Long answer) To flatten you on a religious process called "abandon all your worldly goods." The pc may lag a long time on this command, and in the meantime gets nattery, like you.
(Short answer) To maximize profits.
Where does all the money go?
Hell if I know.
Why do they seem to be a bunch of teenyboppers?
If you think that's a trip, you should have seen the "Commodore's messengers."
Why are the newspaper articles so unfavorable if Scientology is really so good?
The newspapers are just prejudiced because if Scn got in, they'd close down the newspapers, radio and TV.
How can it be a religion without any faith in God?
Scn actions demonstrate a tremendous faith that God either won't notice or won't interfere.
Don't you read any other books?
We don't read any books.
What if someone is a member of another religion?
They are half baked. They are not raw meat. We prefer raw meat.
Why do they have these staring eyes?
You bore them, so they're practising their drills on you to pass the time.
On course, whenever I complained about anything they told me to write up my overts. How come?
The principle is valid. Since you were associating with those people, you must have had earlier overts on worthwhile people.
They gave me a free Intro, and the auditor kept saying, "That -- that --" and I wasn't thinking of anything.
They're trying to show you that while it may seem like nothing on a conscious level, if you dig down into your checkbook, you can find something.
What were L. Ron Hubbard's qualifications on the mind?
There were so many things he Minded that his got larger than anyone else's.

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