Keeping Scientology (from) Working

The following is a short parody of a paper which is found at the very start of every course textbook used in Scientology. The actual author would prefer to remain anonymous for obvious reasons.

One:
Stealing the correct technology
Two:
Knowing the stolen technology
Three:
Knowing it is stolen

Four:
Hiding the original correct technology
Five:
Mis-applying the technology
Six:
Seeing that the stolen technology is incorrectly mis-applied
Seven:
Hammering out of existance correct technology
Eight:
Knocking out correct applications
Nine:
Closing the door on any possibility of correct technology by copyrighting everything
Ten:
Slamming the door on correct application

One above has been done.

Two has been achieved by few.

Three has been well hidden by the group applying the incorrect technology in an esoteric manner and observing that people don’t know the difference.

Four is being done covertly in most parts of the world.

Five is consistently accomplished daily.

Six is achieved by management consistently.

Seven is done by the many who are weak points.

Eight is worked hard on.

Nine is impeded by the bright attitude of the not quite “reasonable.”

Ten is seldom done without gross withholds.

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, and Ten are the only places Scientology can bog down in every area.

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